Explanation: due to some complaints I figured I should explain this thought. I don't like doing this because I'd rather have the thought stand on its own but I guess in this case nobody will understand what this one is actually about. The key is the last sentence, "I am committed to sustainable masturbation." It's about my feelings toward the "green" appearance people and companies try to cultivate and maintain. I think it's mostly artificial--the real concern is appearing green and trying to be green, not actually being green. The important end-goal people strive for is not energy-efficiency or minimizing their carbon footprint, but rather feeling good because they threw some money at the cause. To a certain extent I think that most of the industry is about making people feel good while not really accomplishing anything. Hence the masturbation analogy. And if you ask, why did it have to be so obscene and disgusting? Well it's funnier that way. Anyway, figured I should post this explanation for the benefit of narrow-minded readers who got distracted by the smuttiness.