-Since there are SoBe flavors Courage, Power, and Energy, I spent the entire day perusing different stores looking for a Wisdom flavor. Upon arriving home and checking the Internet I was devastated to find out that there is no SoBe Wisdom. If drinking these can make me courageous, powerful, and energetic, why can't they also make me wise?

-Worked out at the gym today and was feeling so confident afterwards that I bought a SoBe Power. Immediately became concerned that I could be taken down amid allegations of using a performance enhancing beverage. Went back to the Internet and determined that I would need to consume 100 SoBe Powers to intake a single dose of creatine, according to the dosing information on several bodybuilding websites. Briefly considered purchasing 100 SoBe's but ultimately disregarded this notion as being utterly ridiculous. Bought ten more anyway.

-Some unscrupulous people have taken to drinking a “Liquid Courage.” For the benefit of those reading at home, to procure your own “Liquid Courage” simply purchase a Courage flavored SoBe and drink down to the bottom of the neck, then top it off with whatever hard alcohol you happen to have on hand. To my knowledge this has been tried with gin, rum, vodka, and whiskey: none of these make for a good drink. Nothing good has ever come as the result of drinking “Liquid Courage.”

-The closest I have been to true enlightenment since starting my SoBe binge was the result of drinking a SoBe Nirvana. This means that I was not even close to true enlightenment.

-Discovered that the Moscow burger joint Zip's has Diet Cranberry Grapefruit SoBe in their soda fountain. I now eat at Zip's almost religiously.

These are the most entertaining excerpts and yet they barely scratch the surface of the endless fun and opportunities that SoBe beverages provide. Remember, there are many opportunities for amusement hidden in the seemingly mundane if you're just willing to act like a total idiot for a little while.